It's OK to not be OK

Have you ever gotten to a place/space where you recognize something is different? Something isn’t right? Something seems off? I know I have (hence no blog posts in a while). Yes, even I, a social worker/therapist, get in spaces where I am just not ok. Recognizing you're not OK, whether emotionally, physically, spiritually, or especially mentally, is a powerful and courageous step. Feeling off mentally often comes with discomfort, confusion, or a subtle sense that something isn’t right. The first thing to know is- It's OK to not be OK. It happens to the best of us. Such is life; what’s most important is to recognize it and then address it.

How You Know You're Not Ok (Mentally)

Have you noticed changes in your thoughts or mood?

• Feeling persistently sad, anxious, or empty

• Increased irritability or anger

• Feeling hopeless, worthless, or overwhelmed

• Racing thoughts or difficulty concentrating. 

Have you recognized a shift in your behavior?

• Withdrawing from friends, family, or activities

• Changes in sleep (too much or too little)

• Changes in appetite or weight

• Increased substance use or risky behavior

Have you noticed Physical Symptoms?

• Fatigue or low energy

• Unexplained aches and pains

• Restlessness or a sense of being on edge

Have you realized Cognitive Signs?

• Difficulty making decisions

• Constant worry or fear

• Feeling disconnected from reality or yourself 

  
  

What You Can Do About Not Being OK

1. Acknowledge It Without Shame: Simply say, “I’m not ok right now,” and remind yourself that mental health struggles are human, not failures.

2. Check in with Yourself: Spend time journaling or deep thinking to clarify your feelings. Ask yourself: When did I start feeling this way? Has anything changed?

3. Talk to Someone: Whether it is a trusted friend, family member, or mental health professional, it is important to find or create space for yourself to express yourself. You can also call Crisis lines or support groups.

4. Make Small Supportive Changes and Create Tiny Routines: Daily habits and routines build resilience. Changes and routines such as re-establishing routine (even just waking up, showering, eating), limiting alcohol/substance use, Prioritizing sleep and hydration, Getting outside or moving your body, waking up and drinking a glass of water, bathing and changing into fresh clothes, even if you’re staying in, or making your bed. Consistency brings safety to a chaotic mind.

5. Practice Compassion and Patience: Healing isn’t linear. Don’t push yourself to “snap out of it but give yourself credit for noticing and seeking help.

6. Name the Feeling: Put a name to how you are feeling instead of just saying “I feel bad.” Try to pinpoint it: Is it anger? Shame? Loneliness? Exhaustion? Naming the feeling gives you a little more power over it.

7. Use a “Low Mood” Toolkit: Create a mental or physical list of go-to things when you're struggling, such as a playlist of calming or nostalgic songs, favorite comfort show/movie, journal or art material, and a list of people you can text, “Hey, I’m struggling.”

8. Limit Input, Choose Output: When your brain is overloaded, too much input (social media, news, noise) worsens it. Try limiting scrolling time and instead try coloring, building something, writing, or cooking—something where you create instead of consume.

9. Allow Tears Without Judgment: Crying is not a weakness. It releases cortisol and helps regulate your nervous system. Let yourself cry in a safe space, without telling yourself to "stop being dramatic."

9. Create a “Mental Health First Aid” Note: Write a small note you can turn to when you're not ok. It can include 3 things that have helped before, 3 people you trust, and 3 words to serve as a reminder to  yourself (e.g., “Breathe. Survive. Try.”)

10. Consider Therapy: You don’t need to be in crisis to benefit. A good therapist is like a trainer for your brain and emotions.

11. Find a “Why” That Grounds You: Even in hard moments, anchoring to something outside of the pain helps (a  pet,  a creative dream, a future moment- e.g., seeing a sunrise, hugging someone again)

It's OK to not be OK — you're human, growing, and still fighting. Every storm passes, and every step forward is progress, no matter how small.